Date: Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Movie of the Week:

The Wiz (Directed by Sidney Lumet, Featuring Diana Ross, Micheal Jackson, Nipsey Russell, Ted Ross, Mabel King, Theresa Merritt, Thelma Carpenter, Lena Horne, and Richard Pryor)

Song(s) of the Day:

Unthinkable [featuring Drake] by Alicia Keys (listen to it here! –> Un-Thinkable (I’m Ready)[Feat._Drake])

No One Like You by P-Square (listen here–> No One Like You)

Current Mood:

Sick… of staying inside!!! 

Blogging Starts in fünf… vier… drei… zwei… eins…

ok guys… so I’m SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THE INTERNATIONAL STUDENT ASSOCIATION’S EXTRAVAGANZA THIS WEEK!!!!!! *cough, cough* oh. sorry about the caps. lol. i have been thoroughly enjoying my time here at Lafayette with aerosoft guns, Chuck Taylors ©, iPod Touches, scripts, and fanny packs lol… (some things are just better left unasked.)

i thought i’d do things a little differently, since we are having a week of cultural explicit expression, and share with you guys some of my poetry. it is something that was very dear to me, and i hope that you all enjoy it.

Last Night I Cried…

[BIO: this poem was written the day that i broke up with the then-love-of-my-life-boyfriend, who is now a really close friend of mine. needless to say, it devastated me. this is actually one of my favorite pieces.]

Last night, I cried…

And the tears poured from my eyes until the rivers of hate, anger, hurt, despise, disappointment, and inhibited love turned into ocean puddles, drenching my shirt in my soul.
My pillow case somehow transformed into a baptismal pool as I anxiously awaited to drown in my misery and I closed my eyes and held my breath…
Until my consciousness became something less than life, and nothing more than death.
So last night I cried,
Not because I was grieving the loss of a loved one, but in a sense, I was mourning the loss of a dumbed one. The loss of a numbed one.
Numbed to the point that my own imprisoned naivete was beginning to dismember itself in front of my own eyes, and I was so … clueless.
I love you too much.
I honor you.
I praise you… yet, I don’t worship you.
How could I have allowed myself to put you on a pedestal the height of the Temple of Christ, and keep myself lowly- staggering on solid ground with mud beneath my feet, hunger pangs in my lower abdomen, and allowing you to have your wicked way with me- all in the name of love?
And all you did was grumble and complain.
And all you did was take and take until all that was left was a crumbled, spineless body with no strength to even recall her name.
Last night I cried because
as much as you claim to love me,
NO
ONE
WILL
EVER
LOVE
ME
AS
MUCH
AS
I
LOVE
THEM.
HIM, excluded.
YOU, included.
When diluted, I feel like I’m the pink elephant in the room, my weight of emotions crushing pillars of hope and frameworks built upon stable trust.
my lyrics of pain etched on desks and my indigestible lumps in throat for fear of losing you, suffocating not only me, but stealing the breath and opportunities for those who come after you.
losing a chance at life.
losing a chance at love.
losing a chance at… everything…
i cried last night.

the tears burned my eyelids like a moth’s wings tarnished by the light of a desperate flame,
the heartache stole my lungs’ capacity to expand, contract, and again inhale.

now i’m just waiting to exhale…

Je Peux le Gèrer

[BIO: this poem was written in response to my good friend Aaron E. Pimble's poem entitled A Few Simple Questions. no, lol, i don't think this poem was written to me per se... but yea, i did feel the need to respond lol]

Baby, there’s no question that you can ask that I cannot answer.
I’ll deliver all you need, just like the reciprocal of cancer -
instead of taking breaths from you, I’ll be your life enhancer.
All you have to do is say the word and I’ll come running like a dancer,
Giving you all my attention, awaiting at your beck and call
I humbly accept your innermost self, external flaws and all.
There is no need for chasing, neither of us are cats and dogs.
I am a woman and you are a man, we are both responsible adults.
I could tickle your brain before I tickle your bodily frame,
I could entertain and then provide sexual restraints,
But if we play a game, it’ll only be because we can maintain
a sense of refrain while we uninhibit constraints.
By no means will my intent be to keep you on my level,
it’s like God providing free will to the angels and the devils;
You can choose to walk away, and then your decision would be settled.
If not, then the unity of our combination must be reveled.
I will listen when you want to vent or just have something to say.
Beside you, yes indeed I’ll sit, or kneel beside you when you pray.
I’ll leave you little Post-It notes just to brighten up your day,
and anytime in between, my body is yours anytime you want to play.
No, I’m not impressed by your bank accounts and trusts.
(Although, if you’re independent, then yes, that is a plus.)
All I want to know is that you love me just as much.
And no, love to me does not equate to simply lust.
Can I handle you, yes; but please don’t think I’m conceited,
when I ask could you handle me if I was just what your life needed.
Sure, I can handle you, and your love would not be cheated;
in fact, I’d go so far to say that I would just complete it.

.Forever.

[BIO: don't really know what made me write this poem... all i remember is that i wrote it in the 11th grade on my way to school. can you say throwback? lol.]

An empty word filled to the brim with deceit,
Sadness, anger, and misconceptions.
When its negative content is spread like a disease
There is never any second guessing.
The falsification and blatant lies
That it withholds, upholds, and denotes –
Like a rogue –
Is oftentimes held tenderly.
You know,
I used to believe in this… this…
Unstoppable yearning for such a perfect elemental intangibility,
But I’ve learned that this dense word holds oblivions of nothingness.
It is empty see;
You can promise me forever,
But nothing lasts that long.
Mourning can last a lifetime,
But forever? That word is far too strong.
It holds too many broken promises –
Too many shattered dreams.
So don’t promise me forever,
Because there is no such thing.

well… i don’t have much more to say other than i’m getting prepared to go to Precision’s rehearsal for Extravaganza 2010 (whoop, whoop!!!) lol. spring is in the air… i can TOTALLY feel it. i’ll catch you all on the flip side. why are you inside reading this anyway? go outside and soak up the sun!!!