After a really good week, I realized that I had not posted as of yet. The realization came after waking up this morning from a long day of reading and studying yesterday. So this post goes out to the good times of last week, which was only a couple hours ago.
What made last week great was that I actually decided to do the things that I planned on doing, rather than waiting for the “right time” to do them, and shying away from doing things that I would not be comfortable doing. I guess I extended a foot beyond my comfort zone last week.
Firstly, near the beginning of the week, as I was walking back to Ruef, I thought about meeting with a professor that someone had recommended I meet with for a long time. I was intimidated because I did not know this person. With each step I took I kept rehearsing how I would introduce myself to this person. When I got to his office, he was on the phone so I waited a couple minutes, which was much needed for calming my nerves. He came out and greeted me and we started chatting about all that he’s done for the school before settling in his final position. Gosh, just sitting there, I couldn’t help but think of how little I’d done with my life. For the sake of confidentiality, I won’t mention the person’s name, but by the end of our conversation, he made me feel as if I should be doing more that I am doing now, which is a good thing. I will forever remember that conversation.
Later that week, I had a floor event which I decided to make into a movie night for the guys; we watched The Conjuring. It was my second time watching the movie, nevertheless I still had to cover my face to avoid seeing the extremely unpleasant scenes. Prior to watching the movie, we celebrated the birthday of one of my residents whom we call “Purple Phil” (it’s a long story why). Anyways, being there with my residents really meant a lot to me. It felt great to see them having built a community among themselves, a community that I know will last beyond their first year. I wish my first-year community experience would have resembled something of the sort.
Furthermore, after the movie I decided to go to the “Grown and Sexy” event at the Spot. Events like that aren’t appealing to my taste. I mean, I would rather be in my room or somewhere else doing something only I thought was productive…but I didn’t, I went out to socialize instead. It was fun and relaxing, which was kind of strange considering how much the loud music and the nauseating heat from people crowding the dance floor made me feel uncomfortable.
The best part was not dancing. Trust me, it wasn’t. Instead, it was seeing friends that I barely get to see on campus and especially those that had recently graduated. During one conversation with an Alum, I told her how the semester was going rough and that classes aren’t as fun as the previous semester. All she did was give me a strange sassy look of disapproval then reassured me of how smart I was. In my head, I kept thinking of the response, “you’re wrong, I’m dumb.” How could this person think I’m smart, though she knows me very well? Secretly, it meant a lot to hear her reassurance, to know that someone believed in me.
Later that night, I ended up walking with a friend back to her dorm a bit after 3am, the latest I had ever stayed up at a party. We sat for about an hour outside her door to talk. We talked about a lot of things including relationships and academics. However, the most valuable aspect of our conversation was about family pressures and how that influenced our academic life. We had similar ideas about how much we felt the pressures of our families’ expectations on us, how we were the ones held on a “pedestal” and expected to be the epitome of success. It is hard being in that position and upsetting to know that some people here don’t have to worry about that level of burden. For us, it is like having eyes watching from the back at every moment, at every point in which you make a decision.
Afterwards, I went back to my room and slept, not worrying about the terrifying images of the movie I had seen earlier that night. Of course more happened this week than I can explain, but these are the best memories I can recollect. Stay tuned for a post about this week.
Here’s to a fun night at the Inaugural Ball